Embracing the love we receive, using it as a fuel for our own dreams, endeavors and future; opening up endless possibilities in life through doing things with love "拥抱无边爱，向阳而生遍地开"

this is the strongest bridge we have tried to built throughout our attempts and just a "show off" of the 10k worth of phones being put at risk to QC the bridge we made with newspapers; initially thought it is impossible to do so but moral of this activity is "you wouldn't know until you try, so don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone to try new things ;)))"

idk what hand sign I am doing over here but hey, a group pic with the ladies <3

In this year's, CD camp theme, I found it to be less chim as compared to other years as it is more relatable to the current emotions I am going through right now, at this age, when there are increasing responsibilities I have to undertake for myself and the community around me and as I gradually take my life seriously (planning ahead instead of letting things get to me; what I meant was to be more proactive in taking charge of my own personal matters and events) and start to settle down and find a stable job and a social circle I am comfortable yet proud to be in.

I think quitting the internship was really another type of wake up call for me as I realized I did not have my priorities set properly which led me to waste a lot of time which I could have spent on more meaningfully, for instance, my weekends are really burnt that time as I find myself rushing report instead of taking up other responsibilities or commitments, an area which I feel I should be reflecting on deeply.

Lastly, I realized in this years camp, the facilitators of each activity have added a lot of their deep personal insights about the sacrifices made by an amazing leader who have already passed on. One thing I found inspiring was that the facilitators are able to speak their feelings and thoughts openly and freely and it is very heartening to see how much they have also learnt during their planning and preparatory phase. I personally agreed with a lot of the speech content made by majority of the facilitators who showed up to give an opening and debrief of each activities and I hope one day I could also be like them, not only in this tao environment/ praying setting but one day... where I hope I could also be an inspiration to the younger ones out there who might be facing similar difficulties which I also once felt like an obstacle in my life, such as in a working setting or through a community activity where I could be volunteering in (just my imagination running wild of the possibilities that could happen in future...) .

One last thing which stuck deeply in my mind " there are reasons why we have to go through certain tough moments, and difficulties in our lives, not only to show us how strong we could be, how these bad times taught us to be more appreciative of the ones who stayed by and the lessons we got away from these period of times, BUT ALSO, to strengthen our faith in every step we make in life, no matter the right or wrong steps and decisions, to know that an innocent mistake does no harm to ourselves and god is always with us in every moment we live as long as we believe "he" exists.

Things are starting to get really holy here, but let me just share with you guys some of the learning points/ takeaways I have gained from this camp, how relatable it is to me and how you guys might also find these pointers and whatever I share to be useful to y'all in future (my very first step in being an inspiration and role model to the people around me...)

meaningful phrase 1:

精进应当对自己长存不足之心

Progression means we should not always be 100% satisfied with ourselves:

This quote is very important for us...

especially at times when we are experiencing success because our downfall due to own actions could happen anytime soon. It is also during this period when we should be paying closer attention to our thoughts and feelings and being more self-aware so that we can avoid digging a hole for ourselves and plunging in unintentionally...

learning point/ takeaway 1:

The value of progression is at the heart of the desire to keep improving on oneself, meaning, while we are on the path of progression, it is important to be aware of our own perfectionist tendencies and be less critical of ourself at crucial moments especially when what has happened can no longer be undone. It is therefore more important to practise self-compassion and to take a more closer look at ourselves--- despite our flaws, there are still certain strengths, skills, abilities and talents we possess. Instead of beating ourselves up, we should be channeling our energies into causes or activities that provides us with the opportunity to rewire our previous mindsets, thought patterns or habits that are no longer serving us well.

This in essence, is what I feel "progression is about", many say "progression over perfectionism" and I couldn't agree more with this statement. At the same time, on the other side of the coin, it also means we should not be complacent of our achievements, especially at the high points of our life because life is filled with ups and downs. Achievements are not permanent, while they might be more pleasant yet hold fewer lessons for us, they also serve another purpose of helping us relax and unwind which is a form of de-stressing (on the contrary to the down points of life, which reminds us to continue pressing on and not give up until we see the light at the end of the tunnel-- hope. Hope that things would soon turn around because tough man always manage to make it to the end. 

then why should be focus on progression? What is the motivation behind this effort?

another quote by an amazing leader "精进看起来是辛苦的， 实际是安乐的“

this means^^ progression should not feel like a chore or hard work, instead, we should be feeling relieved or happy while improving on ourselves.

In my opinion, self improvement can take many forms.. through spiritual practices and where we listen to sermons which uplift our spirits, encourage us to concentrate on our own internal moral compass. Or simply working on ourselves in daily, most mundane and predictable moments in our usual life. It does not have to be expensive when we are engaging with personal development such as taking up courses intentionally although it is one of the activity we can spend time on, but mostly importantly, catching ourselves when we are falling back to certain bad habits and living patterns which are doing us harm. It also indicates a need to have greater level of self-care because when we are working on ourselves, we ourselves are technically the biggest project we can take on. Overcoming our own weaknesses through compensating with our strengths enable us to live a more wholesome life, that is aligned with our core values, passions and interests. Instead of being a walking dead.

Hence, now that my internship is over, I am really taking the time out to delve deeper into self-understanding and to get to know myself better, just like how we would treat a friend, we should at times do the same to us so that we can go out there to form better connections and build stronger and healthier relationships with others which reflects our own dreams, desires and passions.

meaningful phrase/ quote 2:

• 亲力亲为= dedication, responsibility and being personally involved

• availability before capability (ABC) = " yes, i will do it", action promotes results, the will to do things and to act on certain issues before they become a big problem is crucial as we only gain confidence in taking action instead of overthinking... we are never fully prepared, we are only prepared when we are engaging in actions and tasks instead of merely thinking of the outcome of doing/ not doing something.

learning point. takeaway 2:

• 信愿行证-- our beliefs are powerful, what we believe in would also affect the intention we set for every action we carry out and the endeavors we choose to pursue; the wills and thoughts grew in us are shaped by the beliefs we carry (they could come from our own experiences), and thus, influencing the decisions made and the type of impact created in big communities and in society (workforce, family and social circles)

• 心行惯性命: thoughts grow from the heart, mediation between heart and mind breeds actions, habits are formed through repetitive actions, character is formed through the habits from which you live through your life as small habits gradually build up to become a part of our identity, destiny is created/ changed through your actions as what you do is a product of your feelings, thoughts, mindset and perspective.

• 念形行-- thoughts could be converted into different forms, taking up different shapes visible in our lives hence, we must be vary careful with the thoughts we grow in our mind and being mindful of them could help in the self-correction of our behaviors.

inspirational phrase: 

being extraordinary is tied to our ability to live an authentic life true to our own values and passions. What we are passionate about also reflects what we prioritize in our own lives 

achieving success is putting our own abilities and skills into valuable use where we are able to see the positive impact we make on the world through the meaningful actions we take to create a better living environment for other people to live in in this world.

to find out our motivations is just one step, to re-assess our motivations whenever we find life is spirally out of control instead of complaining and blaming others takes an incredible strength out of ourselves to put us in-charge and responsible of the bad things that have happened. our true self is being revealed when we live our lives to the best we can and always striving to achieve our fullest potential and maximum capacity.

Extraordinary does not mean it is unachievable within our own reach, it re-emphasized that the impossible could be turned into reality when we redirect our efforts and actions to making it possible through self-help and the assistance we get along the way from others.

final reminder to myself: 

• stress is only created when we view life pressures as an avoidable matter, problems which arises could be transformed into a personal will and a self-responsibility in which we commit ourselves to resolving the issue through dedication, hard work and persistence to overcome obstacles through effort, accountability and integrity.

• stress would only become a burden when we let the deadlines of life responsibility build up without taking action about it.

• When we live life with a certain direction, our actions naturally suggests the decisions we take and the choices we make-- for the better or worse depends on the context

final conclusion of the camp takeaway

愿 (will/ commitment/ dedication to a cause) is the starting point of our actions. Being mindful of ourselves also require us to develop greater self-awareness of the motivations behind our actions, ensuring we are operating with the right reasons and not for the bad purpose. A powerful will is that of the daily reminders we give ourselves to always be on the right track in life, as long as we operate according to our hearts desires and complement this with the right thought, we would be able to live a valuable life that creates a positive impact on others and the world we live in, regardless of the communities we are surrounded by.

SSI's internship megapixel reflection

My internship journey at Singapore Sports Institute (SSI) has been nothing other than a SURPRISE! Good and bad surprises included. After my Final year Project (FYP) at NUS YYL school of medicine, there was only a few months of break given to me before I start another round of internship, but a more practical-based assessment as well as more fun :) Funnnnn... in a way, because of the gym work and handling of athletes during their training and the open conversations made with elite athletes has helped me transform the dreadful mundane learning process into a more lively exchange of thoughts and feelings, incorporating much more meaning into the job than I have expected. Still, the 5 months were pretty packed with a lot of lessons to learn, pressure to undertake especially when it comes to coaching (as it is my first time being a coach :'''''''(.. ), a lot of VALUABLE soft skills I have picked up i.e time management skills, emotional regulation, people management, leadership etc. I truly appreciate the times I have spent with the athletes and with the staff from other departments, although I have gone through horrendous, terrible suffering times and emotional ups and downs (not due to the duties, but the kind of environment I was put in for my work obligations). The positives and negatives of my work at SSI were also one of the most important journey in my life as this experience taught me that life is never smooth sailing and sometimes, no matter how you are feeling, you just got to show up, push through, swallow your saliva and be there for yourself ALWAYS.

To start off, when I first step into SSI gym for my day 1 of internship, I had a cultural shock. Was already very grateful I did not faint or have dizzy spells when I saw so many athletes training seriously, like DANG, my heart and mind wasn't prepared for such rigour! And this wasn't a one-time off thought I had in mind, the recurrent intrusive thoughts that got to me, despite how hard I tried to fend them off had me praying hard throughout the 5 months to stay well and stay strong as given the strict training environment and the standards the athletes already had in training, I was kind of intimidated at how as a strength coach, I should be working with them, the vibes, appropriate tone of my voice, points to take note of when supervising the athletes, generally how I should be carrying myself as a coach for high performance adult athletes. I was completely at a lost and being a somewhat socially awkward person especially towards people I am not close with, it makes it difficult for me to ask for another guy who was my coursemate some tips or advice that could be given. All I have received for coaching advice is "Everyone's style of coaching is different"- which led me to try and develop one myself, that is unique and specific to me and "it depends on your objective"- highlighting the redundancy of the biomechanics knowledge applied during coaching, technically this aspect of training is non-relevant to strength coaching as building muscles, motivating and encouraging them is the main emphasis at the gym instead of looking at their movement techniques. Even at some points where their movement efficiency could be improved, a more big picture perspective was taken to simplify our understanding of the demands of each exercise into clear and concise cues. So, this was one major learning point I had there.

It was a little of a regrets or more of a disappointment to miss out on the keywords "elite athletes" which implies the high expectations of a strength coach by the athlete as they are relying on us for their reputation, performance and competition rankings. I am not very sure whether it is fortunate that I am only an intern there, so the bare minimum I must be doing would be shadowing and observing the more experienced coaches. Given the job title, I had a great time spending most of my time learning on the ground at the gym, at the testing lab watching youtube videos helpful for my coaching training and NOT TO FORGET THE DISASTROUS RAPID REVIEW REPORT which I was tasked to do up during my period of 5 moths there.

I feel both their JD and learning outcomes are kind of misleading as expectation versus reality difference was really huge then. Apart from the fact that they are merging with other institutions, the point that this department has been low on manpower since the start and the interview questions which I asked the interviewer are nowhere close to what this organization need and what I could offer as an intern.

I was really pissed off as the weeks go pass, when I asked more questions (I guess this is where the loophole came in obvious to me that, the more questions I ask, the greater the impression that I gave off to the other staff was that "she is an intern who does not have a strong grasp of their sport science knowledge". I admit that my sport science was kind of limited in a way SSM only exposes us to the surface level of things, and even another course-mate told me "you have to read a lot", likeeee, I'm doubting whether the image I give off is a student coach that have zero or little information about the stuff I am studying. Regardless of whether he is the SSM scholar, top scorer for exams, when he ask this question, I am wondering in my mind whether he read up as much as I thought he have been doing. LOL Furthermore, we attended the same ASCA SNC training (this training provided me with the benchmark of the knowledge to be equipped with), coupled with the strength and conditioning lecture, I was able to follow what was going on in both training course and lectures, so I have no idea where the problem of my learning was from.

I had to cope with all the negative feelings for a long period of time, especially midway when my stamina and my motivation/ mindset to continue learning was spiraling downwards and going downhill. I felt that my learning peak was reached and for that, I was kind of proud of where I have come to. There was mixed feelings-- feeling like an academic loser, a blur student, dumb intern (not when it comes to practical work) due to some issues of not knowing how/ having not learnt how to show that I know my own stuff (I really did even if I came across as the opposite). And I am really hoping now that the new company I am applying for would value my skills, talents and appreciate the new specialty, knowledge and insights I bring to the table in the company (brb thinking about how a private differ from a public company...). Yet at the same time, feeling satisfied that I did not give up halfway and still continue to persevere no matter how hard it gets or how tiring I am. I still remember myself going to the public toilet instead of the ladies athlete toilet in SSI to just reflect on my life and criii ;''''''(.

Reflecting back on my experience now and what to look forward into the future (post-graduate life ONBOARD)

I really realllyyyy reallllyyyyy want to hone and refine my coaching abilities. Starting from a humble start at SSI as an intern, I realized I have a lot of room for improvement with regards to coaching. The good news I have heard from the rest that coaching does not require any sport science or SNC knowledge. And my take from this is that I have to be present, be willing to be there for your clients, listen to their concerns and needs actively, being understanding and showing empathy where needed. At the same time, since coaching is a sub-specialty in the sports industry, the way you coach clients as a PT is very different from that of a strength coach, simply because their needs and objectives of the training is different. And so, with this point in mind, I wanted to push myself to pick up a similar coaching role, develop a framework for myself as part of the learning process of being a better coach (soft skills matters but it takes beyond all these valuable qualities to put them into practise to build relationships with athletes). To foster a large base of clients, I would need to continue to work hard!!! Because your value as a coach comes from how much trust you are able to build with your clients through the guidance and support you offer them during training. (no one likes training and I think it takes a damn lot of skill to make sure the clients actually enjoy training and not only talk them out of the benefits of coming for coaching session. The sweat, commitment and the effort clients have to pour out need to match the motivation, enthusiasm and the enjoyment they takeaway out of the session from you!

Life's Amazing Junior Working Experiences

2020 was the year I started building up my work experiences. From kickstarting my part time or adhoc job as a promoter, to exploring interested industry in healthcare and venturing into greater diversity of client bases, I have had a taste of how working with different clients affect my mood, emotions and ability to cope across various working environments. Before I continued my studies at Nanyang Technological University @ School of Sport Science, embarking on my working journey gave me a deeper understanding of my interests, values and passion, as well as a better awareness of my strengths and weaknesses. Life is like a never ending journey and I am the driver in my own car with a steering wheel in front of me as I wield my talents, abilities and strengths to take control of the direction in which the vehicle is moving into... And in a blink of an eye, I have passed the finishing line of my teenage years, wondering where would life take my in my beginning adult years.